Small Stories of January

21st January 2020

I am currently writing a 1500 word report on my ‘Mental Health Familiarisation’ placement.

A task so mind numbingly dull and excruciating that it’s alleviating the need to have done the placement in the first place.

21st of January 2014

Today I am running a chaplaincy stall at the University of Cumbria’s ‘Refreshers’ fair.
In a curious piece of positioning they have put me between the Viking Re-enactment Society and the chlamydia nurse.

21st January 2011

So Ed Balls has nicked Alan Johnson’s duffle coat and bag on the school bus and put them in the luggage rack to make him miss his stop..
Let’s hope Alan Johnson’s mum doesn’t grab Ed by the lapels and threaten to tell his mum if he does it again.
That would be terrible wouldn’t it. Has never happened to Ed before in his life.

13th of January 2012

So, Eastenders. Pat Evan’s funeral .

I haven’t clapped eyes on Tadman’s funeral directors since I buried Eileen who liked coconut macaroons.

But I am confidently expecting them to put in an appearance tonight. Watch the hearse plates and the man with the cane!

13th January 2010

I am looking out of the window and contemplating tomorrow’s burial. Manor Park Cemetary is like the north face of the Eiger even in July, so by tomorrow evening I may be missing some extremities.

14th January 2010

I do love a pair of comedy grave diggers. Thought at one point they were going to start slapping their thighs. Someone at the funeral mentions Ginger Rogers. I type her name into Google which changes it to Ginger Todgers. Which I can only assume is a niche sexual interest that I have previously missed.